Picture It

I need an author photo. There are a number of problems with this, however. First being that I never like photographs of myself. I like pictures that were taken five or ten years ago, but anything current…YUCK. What happened to my face? When did I develop jowls? Who carved those lines around my eyes? When did my skin get so blotchy? And we won’t even discuss my hair.

Those pictures from five or ten years ago look pretty good, though. Of course, I hated them at the time they were taken. But they look a good deal better than the current me. Which leads me to tremble at the thought that the pictures of me NOW will look good in another five or ten years. ACK! What will I look like then? No, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.

Anyhow, I know I need an author photo. One of the comments I’ve gotten about my website is there isn’t a good photo of me. Well, yeah. There’s a reason for it. Jowls, lines, splotches, etc.

I want to look good in my author photo and that takes some work. That requires the talent of a professional. Since I used to be a professional photographer, I know the tricks of the trade. Unfortunately, I sold all the lighting equipment, all the gels and darkroom stuff that allows photographs to tamper a bit with reality. Of course, now there’s Photo Shop. But I don’t have that program on my computer.

Back to the professional photographer. I know just the guy. He was my mentor back when I was doing photography. He’s very, very good. He also ain’t cheap. Therefore, this could be a one-shot deal. No, not one click of the camera, but one attempt to capture a descent headshot of me. So I’ve been putting it off. Mainly, I’ve been waiting for a book contract and the advance check. But there’s also the five to ten pounds I’d like to lose. Since neither of those things has transpired, I haven’t made the appointment.

Then I discovered this.

While playing on the Internet, looking to see what kind of promo the Twinsburg Library is doing for my upcoming workshop, I stumbled across the PDF brochure and was stunned to find they had lifted a photo from my website. Now, I don’t mind that they lifted a photo from my website. It’s just that they lifted THAT photo. No makeup, ball cap, Polar King jacket. Thank goodness the horse is there to draw attention away from me. Nice looking horse. I almost wished they’d used the photo from this page instead. But then my students would be expecting a wench from the eighteenth century to conduct their workshop. One thing…at least this way I should hopefully hear things like “You look so much better in person” when I show up in business attire and makeup.

The point is, I can’t blame the Twinsburg Library for using that crappy photo. It was all there was available to them. Which is what has led me to the realization that I NEED AN AUTHOR PHOTO. Now. Not later when I’m ten pounds lighter and an advance check richer.

But I still want that one, too. My celebration of “HEY! I sold the book and I’m going to treat myself with a professional portrait.” So I think I’m going to enlist my hubby’s help.

And maybe I’ll run out and buy Photo Shop for my computer.

Stay tuned.